In the middle of a cold January night when time stands still or slips backward as if it had a broken clutch

I dream of disappearing into the void.

 I dream of he myriad of multicolored particles that surround and inhabit me merge into the vaster myriad of multi colored particles that comprise the web of the universe.

Our merger is is so seamless we are indistinct from each other.

By the time the pearly cold and shy sun lights up the large squirrel nest woven and tucked into the crotch of a tall cottonwood outside the window,

 I am so disassembled I can barely get out of bed. Maybe the squirrels are so cuddled into a warm furry ball they can barely get out of bed either