Dear family,

               If I remember correctly, today is the 3^rd anniversary of Nancy’s death which occurred in the middle of the Covid pandemic.  It was crushing to not be able to go say goodbye to her in person and to have to wait until spring of 2022 to assemble family, friends and colleagues by the Berkeley marina to send her spirit off.

 I’m sure I’m not the only one in the family who misses her every day.  We are all living with a Nancy-sized hole.  In her honor, I am going to rededicate myself to celebrating her favorite holiday: the Day of the Dead as a time to work on forgiveness, clear the slate of all grudges, obstacles and annoyances, and re-align myself with the wisdom of our ancestors.

Nancy was kind, diplomatic, tactful and grounded in analytic matters like dad – in contrast to mom’s instinctual impulsivity. She embodied and blended both Dad’s practicality and work ethic, and Mom’s generosity and sense of adventure. 

Ten years apart and a few inches taller, Nancy was the perfect oldest sister. I remember when we were both younger, she would often put her arm around my shoulders in a protective way. Later, when I lost my way she welcomed me into her home– again that protective gesture. I still want to snuggle into her embrace and seek her counsel as to how to live with cancer as she lived with hers. I know she died with many projects left undone That must’ve been a source of great frustration. I suspect that this predicament will be similar for me, unless I am granted a new reprieve.